And there she was..
The love of his life..
Wondering, has it really been 5years?
When with her, time was just a number..
But these were the moments that counted..
Five years ago, what was theirs ended..
And to find some possible explanation to that abrupt end,
There they were once again.
And here I am..
Recalling his stories for the millionth time
His stories of their love story..
Of the sorrow, pain and whole series of emotions that followed.
I’ve thought of it so often because..
It was the reason that made me fall for him.. Hard.
It was this non-shallow, sensitive, profound nature of his emotions
That got me longing for some.
Selfish, aren’t I?
A friend confides in me and I start a fantasy starring the two of us.
But it wasn’t just a phase.
He’d shared his deepest sentiments with me..
I knew every inch of that story.. Knew him so well
And though I’d never met her,
I knew her in and out.
Knew what they shared.. How they felt..
And what followed in his story, after theirs ended.
Did he know mine?
He knows but doesn’t realise he’s a part of it.
That’s fine by me. My concern is him alone, not us.
I’ve gone passed those ego barriers that wanted the self to be happy.
My present ego is happy only when he’s happy, with me or not.
And so, we’re the same old- friends? family?
I’d rather not name our relationship.
It takes its form on its own, and it’s best to let it be.
He tells me that he was to meet her the next day.
Abandoning my current chores.. I was all ears.
He was excited, happy, nervous, uncertain, and a whole lot more.
But what I felt was insane..
I bore the burden of hurt, pain, dismay yet I couldn’t be happier.
It was something he’d always wanted to do- meet her and talk it out.
And finally, the time’s come.
I was excited, relieved, anxious and so very happy for him.
The next day, no news from him.
Why am I worrying?
He’s meeting a girl he loved.
But she’s also the girl who broke his heart.
And that’s why I worry.
She was the reason for a lot of his pain..
She was the reason I’ve seen him render sorrow philosophically and artistically.
She was the reason I got to see him upset, and once,
I got to see the moistness in his eyes.
But she made him who he was in her absence.
Here I am..
Wondering and really hoping things would work out.
All I want is for him to not be hurt..
He deserves all the joy in the world.
I want him to get what he wants..
He’s missed her, yearned for her..
And I know the feeling..
Because I’ve yearned for him.
Awaiting news from him, I have never felt so stirred before.
So many emotions all at once, caused by one mere human?
After the meet, he claims that same spark to be lost.
He’s confused and just hitting in the dark.
On the one hand he feels things have changed and it didn’t have the excitement it used to have
But on the other, she apologises and tells him she’s never loved anyone like him.
Should he trust her or just be indifferent considering the pain she put him through?
Here he is telling me everything..
And I’m all ears though it hurts me to bits..
It’s a helpless situation..
Where neither can I solve his dilemma nor can I solve my own because of his.
The only thing beautiful is uncertainty.
Where certainty doesn’t satisfy you,
Uncertainty doesn’t set you free..