Transcending Cupid’s Arrow

Heart beats escalating
And goosebumps tingling.
Mind going tipsy,
Intoxicating.

Can almost taste the pain.
The love, the hurt, in it.
Brutality hits hard
Bringing nostalgic chills.

Trauma left alone,
The sorrow, forlorn.
You’re the epitome of
All that is felt, atoned.

Pleasure, joy, felt like never before
Expectations met, given much more.
Reminiscent or ventilation
Of everything borne.

Feelings have a voice.
It is called Music.
It transcends beyond even
The arrow struck by Cupid.

Music makes you do it all-
Laugh, cry, bleed, fall, appall.

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Evanescence

That warm, pleasant morning
Held great prominence to me.
But my fear wrecked me greatly
I could not succeed.
Yet through my tears I’d seen
Your smiling presence, comforting me.

In the rain I walked
Been given chores to carry out.
Going back was not an option
But I no longer knew the direction.
Yet my disorientation was short lived
As I had you beside me to walk with.

Shivering in the cold
I was bound to fall ill.
The insensitively brutal weather
Showing no respite whatsoever.
But you sheltered me from it all,
Let me feel nothing at all.

Now years have passed and time is my only enemy.
I close my eyes and recall seeing you by my side endlessly.
I can’t be too sure though, if you were an illusion or a memory
It was so long ago, sometimes I question my sanity.
All truths are ephemeral, expecting otherwise is a futile tendency.
Evanescence is inevitable, nothing lasts for an eternity.

I believe

There are many unquantifiable things in this world
They are not measurable
They are not supported by facts
They may not even be found again
Yet, I believe in them.
Coincidence or luck or a twist of fate
Everything happens for a reason.

Standing by with a bag to hear a hello from a stranger was coincidence
And getting to hear to black sands with butterflies in my stomach was sheer luck
And the it was the twist of fate which laid me on these tracks of prosperity.
They all worked together, to make my destiny.
Destinies aren’t written, they are made by the human living that life.
A supreme power, is not what I’m denying
There is a creator but what are the next duties
Of that im not sure.

It’s just a matter of time
And whole lot of coincidences which decide the later.
I breathe today I might not tomorrow this depends on my luck.
Or maybe, I will be saved in the hospital to bring a twist.
Like I said before they all work together, to write my destiny.
Destiny is not pre-ordained, it’s written in chapters or in volumes.
There is always a chance to change it as the new chapter hasn’t been written.

If I hadn’t done that I wouldn’t be this
and if I didn’t do this I will not be that.
There are events one after the other.
Events are nothing but coincidences.
Why did he have to wear black the day I wanted to make my final decision? Coincidence
Why was it that what I thought I could never let go was so easy to leave? Luck
Why is that I took a whole u turn on the path I was heading? A twist of faith
You see again? They work together.
Deciding on every step I take, writing my beginning and end
And letting me to embark my journey.
There is always a path to reach finding a way is all it takes.

It isn’t easy to agree to what I say
Nor is it necessary. Yet, I believe in them.
I guess they are unquantifiable for a reason
Because it is different for each dwelling soul.
It’s just right to believe in them and take what comes
And then bend it according to your needs.
Every beginning comes with an end,
What is done after reaching the end
Is what makes destiny!

He

Is he a serial heart killer or is it just me?
Cause I was swept of my feet within no time.
I was floating in air towards a dream world.
Effortlessly he tamed me to fit in.
I easily gave in cause my mind was fogged.
He reached my heart to hold it.
I gave up on all I thought was the perfect life to reach out to him for him to catch.
I jumped to him from another he but yet I don’t regret one bit.
Its like I was destined to meet.
Like my fate was cleared.
God must have really been in a giving mood cause he gave me a handful.
His existence brings peace.
His presence eases my breathe.
I look up to the sky wishing on stars.
I look up for answers.
I look up to wish.
Just don’t take away what is mine now.
He is mine.

I feel overwhelmed.
This is supposed to be a good feeling,
but It drains out my energy from me.
I feel low then.
Quite opposite to what I should feel. It’s a hard needing.
It’s very hurtful.
Just being becomes so hard den.
Like its not enough.
Like the only thing you want is he and you’ll put everything at stake for it.
Its a need not a want.
Its a greed not a heed.
Its a craze not a haze.
He it is.
He is all.
He. He. He!

Give me rum

Give me rum,

Let me disinfect my wounds,

Let me drink some,

I’ll give what’s left to you.

Selfish? I don’t think so,

Not with my heart,

Self obsessed at times,

Not without cause.

Stretching my cardiac muscles,

To let more in,

I think I’ll die,

Either way that’s given.

The trouble is my brain,

It’s set on self defence,

Consciously I tend to not keep any,

So my body has.

I feel to a great degree,

I might explode if not stopped,

So like a power off button,

It boots and shuts me down.

No,I’m not a zombie,

So, please don’t shoot!

I’m just human,

With a huge firewall system.

Hack into me,

Break through me,

Maybe you’ll kill me,

Or you’ll save me.

Give me rum,

I hear it loosens the bolts,

Maybe I’ll open the door,

Maybe I’ll let you through.

Let Me In

Let me into that world

You created on your own.
Within which you lay and curl
Concealing all that should be shown.

Let me be your perfect stranger.
Find solace in the unknown.
For you know I’ll never judge,
I’ll be a silent companion when you’re alone.

Let me be your best friend.
To whom you show your best and your worst.
I’ll guide, criticise and praise being your devil’s advocate.
When something’s wrong, I’ll be the first to know.

Let me be your lover.
Your other half that completes you.
With a connection so intimate and intense,
It is together that we’ll get through.

Let me be your family.
Who unconditionally gives without expecting, I guarantee.
No one will dare raise a finger against you.
Because to get to you, first they’d have to get through me.

Let me into your world.
I know you’ve been previously deceived.
But take that leap of faith and give me a chance
It takes just a step to make all the wrongs right.

So,
Let me in..

Catch Me

Your look
Makes me weak inside.
Your scent
Drives me wild.
Your talk
Flickers a spark within.
Your kiss
Makes me lose myself.
Your touch
Makes me restless for more.

I’m no longer in control.
I’m in your hands.
You play me like strings of a harp.
Ever so gentle,
Getting me to moan to your touch.
Getting my inner core to sing to you.

When we’re alone
Our passion ignites us.
We’re a house on fire.
When people are around,
You walk in front of me,
So no one notices.
But how do I walk behind you,
Without me leaning into your scent?
I’m torn.. Trying to hold back,
Trying not to give in to my senses.
I still stand before you
With that unspoken connection,
Only we know of.

You make me weak.
You make me vulnerable.
You crack my shell, making me insecure.
Why do I let you overpower me?
This is not how I’m supposed to feel.

But am I in this alone?
Do you realise what you do to me?
It’s a one-sided obsession
Where you’re my drug, my addiction.
I feel like I’m falling alone
With no one above me to stop me,
With no one beside me to fall with me,
With no one beneath me to catch me.

Pain

Tic-tac tic-tac. Time doesn’t wait.

Somebody press my head to the ground,

Heated by a flamboyant sun,

And with a Thor-like hammer shatter it.

To make me stop thinking about this situation.

Will you never say “no” ? Won’t you rebel someday?

Somebody make me discover the heights of scarification.

Feeling the rupture of my cutaneous layers

Seeing my blood rushing outside, to new world

Somebody please make me feel greater pain than despair.

Somebody make me know the delights of a whip.

This pain will certainly make me forget

your (planned) destiny.

Damn it, we’re talking about Our future – Our life

Won’t you fight for me too?

Won’t you prove them how strong is our love?

Will you always be the influenced one?

Will you always be “THAT FISH caught in THAT NET”?

Someone squeeze my neck with his hands,

so hard that I enjoy the lack of oxygen,

and put my head in water so I’m drowning (for real).

I’m sure that would make me forget my feelings for this place.

You know better. Yet you decide not to do better.

I suppose life in here will always be that way.

You can’t fight your family, can you?

I can’t take you away from your life, can I?

After all, I am the one coming from far away.

In this place, people can’t live their lives.

They live by the script written by their family.

I do not want to keep expecting,

Because I know, sooner or later you will capitulate to the rule.

Somebody.. please.. make me feel extreme pain

So I don’t see you evaporate from my future.

Tic-tac tic-tac. Time doesn’t wait..

To get to your arranged

Engagement.

Magical Vibes

I didn’t want that night to end.
When there was a certain magic in the air.
We both felt it.. Breathed it.. Lived it.
It was a night like no other.
Until then, we were on our own.
But that night, things were different.
It was like there was a need for him to be there
For me to feel complete.
Both generally reserved in our own ways
We were compelled to break open.
Although hurt before,
There was a sign telling us that this was it.
“Try him. Give him a chance..,” Said the voices in my head.
And perhaps he would do the same?
No, we weren’t present in person.
We weren’t beside the other.
But technological advances that sent his voice to me and mine to him,
Made me feel like I was in sync with him.
The vibes were so intimate, in a way that drew me closer to him.
His voice was the only identity I attached to him.
Like a symphony, he spoke to me.
And with it progressing, I knew I was being sucked in..
I was falling for him.
Half drunk, half sober, he admitted the same.
He said my words and my voice tingled his very inner core.
Overwhelmed, I couldn’t react.
I knew I was getting attached to this.. Almost-Stranger.
And once I fall, I definitely fall.
He claimed to feel the same.
So, a leech finally met a leech.

But the night wasn’t young.
And neither were we.
There came a close to the magic.
A close to that infantile attachment.
No, that wasn’t just a moment.
I feel the same every time I talk to him.
Feel like leaning into him, never letting go.
But reality says otherwise.
Being naïve won’t get me anywhere.
And so, we left alone what was ours
Letting fate to decide what is to become of it.

Her-Him-Her

And there she was..
The love of his life..
Wondering, has it really been 5years?
When with her, time was just a number..
But these were the moments that counted..
Five years ago, what was theirs ended..
And to find some possible explanation to that abrupt end,
There they were once again.

And here I am..
Recalling his stories for the millionth time
His stories of their love story..
Of the sorrow, pain and whole series of emotions that followed.
I’ve thought of it so often because..
It was the reason that made me fall for him.. Hard.
It was this non-shallow, sensitive, profound nature of his emotions
That got me longing for some.

Selfish, aren’t I?
A friend confides in me and I start a fantasy starring the two of us.
But it wasn’t just a phase.
He’d shared his deepest sentiments with me..
I knew every inch of that story.. Knew him so well
And though I’d never met her,
I knew her in and out.
Knew what they shared.. How they felt..
And what followed in his story, after theirs ended.

Did he know mine?
He knows but doesn’t realise he’s a part of it.
That’s fine by me. My concern is him alone, not us.
I’ve gone passed those ego barriers that wanted the self to be happy.
My present ego is happy only when he’s happy, with me or not.
And so, we’re the same old- friends? family?
I’d rather not name our relationship.
It takes its form on its own, and it’s best to let it be.

He tells me that he was to meet her the next day.
Abandoning my current chores.. I was all ears.
He was excited, happy, nervous, uncertain, and a whole lot more.
But what I felt was insane..
I bore the burden of hurt, pain, dismay yet I couldn’t be happier.
It was something he’d always wanted to do- meet her and talk it out.
And finally, the time’s come.
I was excited, relieved, anxious and so very happy for him.

The next day, no news from him.
Why am I worrying?
He’s meeting a girl he loved.
But she’s also the girl who broke his heart.
And that’s why I worry.
She was the reason for a lot of his pain..
She was the reason I’ve seen him render sorrow philosophically and artistically.
She was the reason I got to see him upset, and once,
I got to see the moistness in his eyes.
But she made him who he was in her absence.

Here I am..
Wondering and really hoping things would work out.
All I want is for him to not be hurt..
He deserves all the joy in the world.
I want him to get what he wants..
He’s missed her, yearned for her..
And I know the feeling..
Because I’ve yearned for him.

Awaiting news from him, I have never felt so stirred before.
So many emotions all at once, caused by one mere human?

After the meet, he claims that same spark to be lost.
He’s confused and just hitting in the dark.
On the one hand he feels things have changed and it didn’t have the excitement it used to have
But on the other, she apologises and tells him she’s never loved anyone like him.
Should he trust her or just be indifferent considering the pain she put him through?

Here he is telling me everything..
And I’m all ears though it hurts me to bits..
It’s a helpless situation..
Where neither can I solve his dilemma nor can I solve my own because of his.

The only thing beautiful is uncertainty.
Where certainty doesn’t satisfy you,
Uncertainty doesn’t set you free..